Mr Hat and Cat
by Yongo
Summary: Urahara owns and lives in his shop where he meets Yoruichi in an embarrassing circumstance and has to face her later. How will he shake off their first meeting and possibly make her... his? Will sparks fly, or will they crash and burn?
1. The Mister

Yongo

Mr. Hat and... Cat?

Chapter 1

The Mister

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"Kisuke, did the new Evanovich book come in yet?" The messy blonde haired man looked up to see one of his bookstore regulars. She was leaning on the counter, eyes wide open looking hopeful. He a gave her a winning smile.

"No Soi Fon, not yet. Try again next week."

The woman's face fell, all hope leaving her eyes, she frowned. "Next week?!" she was furious, Kisuke smiled sheepishly. "Urahara!" she continued, "isn't there anything you can do? Call the publisher or something? The book's been out for a month! You _should_ have it." She pushed her self away from the counter and looked around the store some more hoping the book would come out of hiding. She walked back to the blonde man looking resigned. "Fuck it, I'll just come back tomorrow or something."

"Whoa, language," he teased her, "besides, I said maybe next wee-"

"I _know _what you said." She looked at him sternly, "I'll come back _tomorrow_."

He watched as the woman left his store sighing. Chuckling, from a box underneath the counter he produced a book with 'Janet Evanovich' written on it. It was her latest title as well as the book the feisty young woman had been looking for.

This was Kisuke Urahara, shop owner and book keeper at the Urahara bookstore.

Hair color: blonde

Favorite color: green

Favorite hobby: messing with his regulars, mostly Soi Fon

He watched as she peeled out of the parking space with her red sports car heading towards the exit of the shopping complex. "Such a funny girl," he laughed, returning to sitting down and putting his feet up waiting for the _ping_ of the door, signaling the entrance of another customer. This was the life. Doing nothing and surrounded by some of the greatest characters and stories of all time. He loved his job, which, incidentally happened to be the same place he called home as well because just above the store were his quarters.

--

Kisuke looked at the time, it was time to close shop. He emerged from his comfortable position with an '_oomf_!' he let out a chortle and said to himself, "Urahara my friend, you have the physic of a god and yet the bones of an old man." He continued to laugh at himself.

Making sure the door was locked and the OPEN sign flipped to CLOSED, he decided to give Soi Fon a break, after all she had been visiting his store everyday for the past month waiting for that book. He wandered over to the box and began to put some copies on the shelf. After doing so, he went to the register and set things straight there.

Behind the counter was a wall and behind that wall as a storage room where he kept all the boxes of books and such, it also had a cozy corner with a couch and other things of the sort for lounging. In the same room was a staircase that lead to his room, above the bookstore. It was unbelievable spacious, perhaps even bigger than most condos and closer to that of a studio apartment. Looking at his abode, he took a deep breath and threw himself on his queen sized bed, staring at the ceiling. _His mind flashed back to a conversation he had with a friend earlier that week..._

-

Kisuke, in the backroom of his shop laying on the couch with a magazine in his hands, was talking to a man sitting across from the couch. The man was incredibly muscular, it was a wonder the chair did not break under his person. He had black corn-rowed hair and sideburns that met together below his nose forming an intimidating moustache. He also wore fashionable rectangular glasses, which complimented his face.

"Kisuke, don't you know any girls."

"Tessai, I know many girls," he said flipping his playboy magazine with a smirk. Tessai rolled his eyes.

"I mean _real_ girls."

"Oh Tessai," he chided turning his magazine to the side making the another page flap out revealing more of the naked woman, his eyes widened in excitement, "they _are_ real girls..." The muscle man, looked up exasperated.

"You know what I me---" He was cut off by his layed back friend who was still ogling the picture.

"... With real curves, and most importantly," he showed the image to the muscle man and grinned, "with huge boobs." Urahara laughed, and slapped his knee, "do you _see _these Tessai?" Taking a closer look at the picture, the man took off his glasses, leaned in and raised his eyebrows. His eyes danced around the image then he sat back in his chair putting his glasses back on. The man on the couch was waiting for a response from is friend, "What's the verdict?" Tessai blushed. "I thought so," grinned Kisuke.

Composing himself, Tessai said, "you know, I know a girl I could-" At that, Kisuke shot up from his laying down position and sat straight staring at his comrade.

"No," he was frantically shaking his head and repeated, "no Tessai. Nope, no, not again. The last time you set me up...," he shivered, "well... that was _the _last time."

"I didn't know she was a stalker Kisuke..." The man looked slightly ashamed.

"A _stalker_?! I would have _settled _for 'stalker'," he was now using air quotes, "that woman was crazy! Like, _loony bin_ crazy Tessai! I mean, ok, I like my women a _little _crazy, but **she **was _off the reservation_ crazy! You were there, you remember." The men laughed lost in the memories of the psycho Tessai had set Kisuke up with.

"In my defense-"

"Pfft!"

"_In my defense, _at least you got to meet a real woman." At that Kisuke stared blanky at his friend.

"Surely that is **not **your only defense." His friend shrugged, and Kisuke assumed his former postion on the couch and continued flipping the pages of his magazine. "If that's the case, I think I'll stick to these beautiful," he turned the magazine again causing the flap on this new page fall revealing yet another nude woman, "and curvaceous women."

-_end_ - -

_... Kisuke's mind wandered back and a snicker left his lips, _'that Tessai...' he thought, 'He doesn't get it.' He got off his bed and walked over to his bookshelf, picked up a magazine and grinned, 'I like bachelor life.' His smile faded upon investigating the cover and realizing that this was the previous month's issue, he hadn't shelved this months' issue yet. Sighing, he figured he'd at least get into his boxers, that way when he came back up he was already ready for bed.

He found the magazines in the back room and began putting them up. As soon as he was done he picked up one of the new MAXIM issues and was getting ready to scamper off to his upstairs quarters when he heard tapping at the door.

"We're closed!" He yelled. He knew there was no way the person outside could possibly hear him so he decided to walk to the door and inform the idiot it was clearly after hours. Still eyeing the magazine he walked up to the door and his face turned ghostly white once he looked up.

It was a woman.

She looked surprised too, considering Kisuke was in his boxers and holding a MAXIM magazine. Realizing this also, Kisuke's face went from ghostly white to blood red. He cleared his throat and spoke through the glass on the door, knowing she would be able to hear him.

"We're closed." There was a flicker of a smile on her face, she nodded.

"I'll come back tomorrow." Her voice was strong, but still carried that female air to it, there was just something about it. Kisuke pushed a smile to his lips and watched her walk away.

'Phew,' he thought and ran up to his room.

--

The next day, Kisuke Urahara was beaming. Every time he heard footsteps outside his shop or even a car screech he would look at his door, waiting. He was excited to see the look on Soi Fon's face when he would tell her he just forgotten to put up the books and that he did in fact get them as soon as they were published. Why did he love to torture her so much?

_Ping_

It was Soi Fon. She somberly walked over to the counter and addressed a grinning Kisuke.

"Good afternoon Soi Fon, how is the weather outside? You know, I hear it might rain or something, perhaps I should close the store early today."

"Urahara, cut the bullshit," she stared daggers at him, "is-my-book-here-yet?" His grin got bigger.

"Soi Fon! I didn't know you wrote a book!" The daggers in her eyes were replaced with disbelief.

"Urahara, I swear---" Kisuke had her where he wanted her. He chuckled.

"Lighten up. Last night I do remember putting some new books up, but I dont remember if your book was one of them, why don't you check." Soi Fon, not wanting to deal with the obviously insane blonde, wandered off to begin her search mumbling a string of profanities.

_Ping_

Kisuke, still enjoying watching Soi Fon look in the wrong section, slowly teared his eyes away from her to tend to the incoming customer, "hello welcome to the Urahara bookstore how may I help... _you_-" He stopped. It was the woman from last night. She was wearing a smirk as well as a knee high violet dress which complimented her dark skin.

"Hi," she said and paused for a moment enjoying the expression on the man behind the counter's face.

Urahara scratched his head and flashed her a nervous smile. She looked around the store, "I'm actually looked for a girl, she came in here a few minutes ago. Soi Fon? She has short black hair, wearing a black tee with a blue jeans skirt? You couldn't miss her."

Urahara composed himself, "yeah, Soi Fon, she's some where over there," he flapped his wrist in the direction he last saw her.

She nodded a thanks to him but before she could leave they both heard a, "Ms. Yoruichi!" Soi Fon was beaming as well as clutching a book in her hand. Despite knowing that his fun messing with Soi Fon was over, he couldn't help but smile at how excited she was.

"Here," the woman Soi Fon had addressed handed something over to her, "you left your money in the car." Soi Fon dropped her head in respect and shyly took the money from her, Kisuke was amused by what he saw. Soi Fon wasn't the same Soi Fon he'd been seeing. He liked the effect this 'Yoruichi' woman had on her.

"Soi Fon," the woman sighed, "again with this 'Ms.' Yoruichi thing. I know I'm your landlord, but we're friends. I'm not a sixty-five year old woman with a walker." At that Kisuke laughed out loud.

"Shut up Urahara," Soi Fon turned her attention to him, "you said you hadn't gotten the books yet! **Look** what I found." She banged the book on his counter. Yoruichi, never having seen this side of Soi Fon before, chuckled. She liked what this 'Urahara' man brought out in Soi Fon, a side she didn't see often, or at all.

Soi Fon and Urahara went about their usual back and forth 'older brother younger sister' type arguing when they were interrupted by Yoruichi who had been eyeing the bookstore while listening in, eventually she heard an exasperated scoff from Soi Fon and suggested they leave. Urahara, being a great business man bid them farewell and asked them to consider his bookstore again the next time they needed to purchase a book or a magazine.

--

An hour or two had passed since the two left, customers came and went. Urahara was in the back room doing some cleaning. He thought perhaps he would close the shop early.

_Ping_

"Be there in a minute," he yelled from the back room.

"That's alright, take your time," yelled a voice back. Urahara stopped what he was doing. The voice was newly familiar, but twice in one day? It couldn't be. He walked out of the backroom puzzled and as soon as he looked at his customer his confusion melted into a grin.

"Hello, again," he said as he sauntered over to the counter. "So what can I help you with?"

"Well, I figured I'd come back and find the book I came to look for," she squinted her eyes and bit her lip to keep from laughing, "_yesterday_." Urahara was lost then he raised his eyebrows and scratched his head.

"Oh right,... _yesterday_." Neither one expanded about their strange first encounter and so for the moment only silence passed between them.

Kisuke cleared his throat and spoke up, "so, you were looking for a book..." he offered then squinting his eyes he asked, "Are you familiar with its title?"

Grateful that the somewhat awkward silence was broken, the purpled haired woman placed her index finger on her lips and furrowed her eyebrows thinking. "I think I'll know it when I see it. Let me check for it first, and I'll get back to you if I need assistance." With that she wandered off searching.

He took a deep breath and plopped down on the chair behind the counter, putting his feet up as soon as he found the perfect position. Watching her meander in and out of the rows he noticed she had one of the best bodies he had seen, _fully clothed_, in a while. Fantastically built legs, curvaceous swinging hips, and not to mention, a buxom chest... yeah, he was looking, but it wasn't hard to miss either.

She rejoined him at the counter and said, "I couldn't find it. It's supposed to be this cook book by the latest chief."

"Oh! _That _book, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I only ordered some copies last week, it should be here by now. In fact," he made a mad-dash to the room in the back and returned looking accomplished. "It's coming tomorrow, I am almost positive!" The woman looked happy and he could've sworn he saw her lick her lips. "Look," he said," the store isn't busy right now, I may as well take a break. Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee?"

She looked at her watch and rejected his offer, "I can't actually. I should be out buying supplies for some of my tenants." She was taken aback by his comedic pout, "perhaps some other time?" He nodded, and watched her leave the store once again.

---

If you can, leave a review and let me know how you felt about this. Thanks!

Yongo

Mr. Hat and... Cat?

Chapter 1

The Mister

Things I don't own or claim to own: Playboy, MAXIM, or... _Janet Evanovich_.


	2. The Man Behind the Counter

**Yongo **

**The Hat and the...Cat **

**Chapter 2: **The Man Behind the Counter

**I'm so... so beyond sorry. I had no idea a freaking year had passed since I updated. I feel so disgusted with myself for not letting you guys in on what I have planned for these to and leaving you hanging like that.**

**Well, I hope this is good enough to get me back in your good graces and I will, honestly, try to update quicker this time. For sure.**

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**Last Time:**

_He took a deep breath and plopped down on the chair behind the counter, putting his feet up as soon as he found the perfect position. Watching her meander in and out of the rows he noticed she had one of the best bodies he had seen, fully clothed, in a while. Fantastically built legs, curvaceous swinging hips, and not to mention, a buxom chest... yeah, he was looking, but it wasn't hard to miss either._

_She rejoined him at the counter and said, "I couldn't find it. It's supposed to be this cook book by the latest chief."  
"Oh! That book, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I only ordered some copies last week; it should be here by now. In fact," he made a mad-dash to the room in the back and returned looking accomplished. "It's coming tomorrow, I am almost positive!" The woman looked happy and he could've sworn he saw her lick her lips. "Look," he said, "the store isn't busy right now; I may as well take a break. Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee?"  
She looked at her watch and rejected his offer, "I can't actually. I should be out buying supplies for some of my tenants." She was taken aback by his comedic pout, "perhaps some other time?" He nodded, and watched her leave the store once again._

**Continuation-**-

His eyes swam as he spun his body around behind the counter. "WOW!" He exclaimed as he got out of his unmanly twirl. "WOW!" Reiterating his former statement he peered at the door again, making small side to side shakes with his head, and for the last time uttered, "wow..." in a low whisper.

--

The next day the man was attune to every noise he heard outside his bookstore door. The sound of female laughter sent him, flying, to his shop's entrance. These back and forth's usually ended in disappointment but not without ogling the laughing women.

Women truly were this man's vice.

Days after, Urahara's behavior had lessened and was back to his former antics- resting behind the counter until a customer came to him.

_Ping_

The delivery man entered the store, exchanged smiles with Urahara and carted in many brown boxes. Urahara put the magazine, a men's magazine no less, on the counter and helped the man off load the books. It was that time of the week again. Urahara reached into the pocket of his beige cargo shorts, complimented with a loose green polo, and pulled out a pocket knife. Slicing through the box, the man couldn't help but smile as the smell of new books penetrated his nose. Waving farewell to the delivery man, and not bothering to lock the door, Urahara switched the OPEN sign to CLOSE.

Pulling the flaps of the first box, he withdrew a pile of magazines and set them on the counter. He did this until the box was empty then moved on to the next. He did this for select boxes after examining the label, and for the rest, he carried to the back room.

"Ugh," he said as he emerged from the back room, leaning on the frame of the door, "where's Tessai when you need him?" Gazing at the many boxes still needing to be taken into the back room, he passed his hands through his already ruffled hair. "I hate this part of the job." With a deep sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and continued lifting boxes to the back room.

- 30 minutes later -

Exiting the backroom with a smile, Kisuke hoisted himself onto his counter. '_No more boxes_,' he mused. 'Fucking delivery company needs to extend their services,' he thought with a chuckle as he ran his hands over the red indents the boxes left on his lean muscled arms. On both sides of him, the counter had stacks of magazines and some books. He surveyed the floor of the store his eyes dancing from opened box to open box. '_And now the fun part begins.'_

A boom box was conveniently seated on the counter next to a pile of CDs on each side. The homey looking bookstore was filled with the smell of new books and music.

Bopping his head and walking to beat of the music, Urahara placed various magazines as well as books in their appropriate place. As he approached another half opened box, he crouched down, re-reading the label. He paused. His eyes expressing the simple smile he now wore.

Pushing that box aside, his eyebrows jumped at the contents of the next box. Playboy's latest issue. Spreading the flaps aside, he decided to take a break by picking up one of the magazines; eyes dancing as they ravaged the half naked woman on the cover. He grinned, it was a double issue.

Not bothering to take his usual spot behind the counter, he rested his elbows on the counter and opened the magazine.

Ten minutes later, the scruffy haired blonde was still in the same position.

Amidst the loud music that filled the store the 'ping' of the door could not be heard. Someone had entered the store. A woman. She hesitated as she let herself in, her eyes examining the shop owner who was solely focused on the reading material in his hands. She let the door close behind her softly and chuckled.

Kisuke turned the page of the magazine and fidgeted. While making a movement to switch positions, out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure by the door move. It startled him. Turning his full attention to the door, his eyes widened then settled to a hunter position. He examined his prey. She was wearing a yellow black Victorian lace up corset halter top exposing smooth dark shoulders. The top of her thighs were covered by a medium length plaid black and yellow skirt which flared at the base showcasing the transition of leg to thigh above her knees.

The woman shifted her weight, causing the exposed part of her thighs to rub together, which, in turn, caused Kisuke to gulp. Hard. He turned off the music.

"Hey," breaking the silence she threw him a nod. Returning her smile, he waved to her using the hand still holding the magazine, thereby exposing the front cover.

"Playboy?" The woman smirked and cocked her eyebrow. All Urahara could manage as a reply was a shrug accompanied by a nervous snicker. "For the articles huhn?"

"Well, you know." Collecting himself he added to the banter, "at least I'm of legal age to read this. Shouldn't you be home doing your homework?" He said, glancing at her plaid school girl type skirt and back at her placing the ball in her field.

She scoffed and followed it with a chuckle.

"Whatever." Folding her arms she surveyed the bookstore's floor with raised eyebrows.

"Well," Kisuke interceded before she could comment on the state of it. "The sign _does_ say closed."

"But the door wasn't locked." She smirked and wily added, "But I suppose, old men, such as you, forget things easily don't they?"

"Old man, huhn?" He grinned at her, "didn't your mother ever tell you to respect your elders?" In a Kisuke manner he added, "You deserve a spanking for that."

The woman's eyelids flashed, she looked to the side deliberately letting out a puff of air through her nose cocking a side of her lips into a sideways smile. Once again she fidgeted causing Kisuke's attention to wonder.

This time, Yoruichi caught him checking her out. She teased him by purposely and slowly parting her legs which in turn parted her thighs. Kisuke's minded flooded with obscene thoughts so much so that his eyes bulged. The woman by the door dropped one hand and rested the other on her hip.

"If I really was a high school girl," she teased, playing on his former remark, "you'd be convicted for that..." Referring to the thoughts she knew he was having. Meandering through the full and empty boxes, she found herself standing in front of Kisuke and picked up the Playboy magazine. Looking at him she smiled and executed her final line. "You dirty old man."

Kisuke did the only thing he could do; laugh.

"Look, Ms..." He feigned searching his memory for her name.

"Yoruichi Shihoin. Yoruichi is fine."

"Indeed she is," he added playing on her last statement.

"Haha, you never stop do you?" Yoruichi smiled. "And your name?"

"Ah! Where are my manners," he extended his hand to her, replacing the magazine in her hand with his. "My name is Kisuke Urahara, owner of Kisuke's Bookstore." Her hands were silky smooth. This sent a current through his body. If her hands were this smooth, sure the rest of her body would be equally as pleasant to touch... err to the touch. Smiling a secret smile, a bent down to kiss her hand, but she pulled away.

"Urahara, I don't know where those lips have been..." The woman chided.

"Ha! I assure you, Ms. Fine Yoruichi, these lips of mine haven't been anywhere they shouldn't." Her lips twitched, he continued, "and it's just Kisuke. Or Adonis. Whichever you prefer." The blonde finished with a flirtatious toothy grin.

She rolled her eyes, and looked around the store.

"Need help?" Both of his eyebrows were raised in glee. She took this for a yes. "Where do you want me?"

"On top-," with a mind like Kisuke's, one that was mostly in the gutter, saying something like 'where do you want me' wasn't exactly something that was safe to say. "I mean, on the boxes closest to the door. Offload the contents and I'll put these," he gestured to the magazine stacks still on the counter, "away."

"Fair enough," her lips shaped into a smile Urahara couldn't place. She looked in the direction she had entered the store, sizing up what needed to be done, then shifted her attention to him. "I'll be top- I mean," she smiled at the look on his face. "I mean, I'll be over there then." She had won this round.

--

The bookstore was once again filled with music, the smell of books as well as sexual tension. Perhaps the sexual tension was all on Kisuke's side.

As she opened boxes, she'd leave the contents on the counter for Kisuke to put away. This made the work go much faster, and even though there were still many boxes left to be fully opened, the time it would've taken one person to do was cut in more than half. Every time Kisuke approached the counter, to pick up another batch of books or magazines, he'd pause.

This was much better than having Tessai help. After all, Tessai's physique and presence was not equipped with heaven's perfect hips bending down in his store as Yoruichi's were. Tessai was right, there WAS nothing like a real woman. And this woman was... All of her, from her perfectly shaped chest, flawless features, tear drop behind and curvaceous hips was very touchable. A naughty giggle escaped his lips.

Yoruichi, no longer hearing the thud of books being placed on shelves, turned in the direction of the giggle. She rolled her eyes. Then almost in an instant shot up and hurried over to where Kisuke stood, in front of the boom box.

"I love this song!" She reached over Kisuke's arm, brushing her chest by it and turned up the volume. Urahara was frozen for a moment. There really _WAS _nothing like a real **live** woman. The best the women in the magazines had done for him was give him paper cuts...

Yoruichi flashed him an excited smile, turned around and moved to the rhythm of the music as she made her way back to her spot. The swivel of her hips to the beat was mesmerizing. When the upbeat song reached the last slow verse her body slowly snaked to the music.

"Wow." Urahara let out.

Yoruichi stopped her passage to her spot, turned to him.

"What?"

"In my store? Just like that? Really?"

"Haha, I don't understand."

"You're a wild woman," taken aback, Yoruichi raised her eyebrows. "Like a cheetah," Kisuke said making reference to her yellow and black clothing color scheme.

"You're crazy, what are you going on about?"

"No, _you're_ crazy," he smiled. _'I like that_,' he thought and chuckled at her perplexed expression. "You don't seem the type to just, 'bust a move' or," he stroked his chin recalling what he'd seen. "Bust _several_ moves in front of a stranger."

She laughed.

"Oh, hmm. I didn't think it strange at all. I'm _very_ comfortable with my body." With that she winked at him.

_'This woman will be the death of me_,' thought Kisuke.

She was playing his game extremely well, and winning. Kisuke had never been out flirted. He impaled women's logic who fell into his charm trap. And he did so with ease.

"Look," he said, "the store isn't busy right now; we may as well take a break. Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee?" Repeating the offer he made many days ago.

"Sure." She replied without hesitation.

--

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**So what'd you think? Let me know! It was an unexpected review that got me to update. All of your reviews also made me want to update, so thank you all so much. Special thanks to **RarusuRinnu1310**.**

**Also, if you are interested. The song that was playing in my head, repeatedly for the dance Yoruichi did is called Crazily Pretty by DNT a Korean boy group.**


	3. The Don

**Yongo**

**The Hat and the...Cat**

**Chapter 3**: _The Don_

**A/N**: Yes. Well... yeah. Here this is. In my defense, this is a difficult one to write. I was stuck with taking the story one way (a way which would've required a higher rating) or to do it another way. So, the story was frozen. Also, as noted by many reviews - even though this is an AU, the characters are still true to canon, and that is something I _try_ to stay close to when I write... making writing hard. Cause they're not my puppets, I'm kind of their puppet. The characters use me to tell a story they want told, but I have to do it in a 'believable' way. Haha... anyway, self-importance aside. I'm sorry. Here's the story. You all more than deserve it. Thanks for waiting,... _you're the __b__e__st._

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**Last Time**

_"What a day." The man, exhausted, flung himself atop his bed, no longer in his cargo shorts and loose green polo, but in his red heart decorated boxers. _

_Now laying on his back, he beamed facing his ceiling._

_"WHAT a DAY!" It looked as though, if there was ever a suppression of a smile, the smile had won and taken over his face. Placing his right hand over his stomach and left supporting his head, he closed his eyes and thought back to the day's events._

_._

"Please, take a seat." Kisuke had led Yoruichi into the back room behind the counter. With a wave of his arm, and a flick of his wrist, guiding her to the direction she could sit.

"Nice place you got here," she commented looking around the room, lowering herself on the cushion beneath her..

"Why, thank you."

"Equipped with kitchen and everything huhn? I didn't know you lived here,... although," she chuckled, "that would fully explain our first encounter."

Kisuke paused and laughed at the memory of his half naked self staring at the gorgeous woman, that was now in front of him, outside the entrance of his store. Standing behind the counter of the quaint kitchen he turned his back to her, opening the cabinets atop the stove withdrawing two white mugs.

"So, how do you like your coffee?"

"I don't," she replied, "I hope you have tea."

"Sure I do," he said replacing one of the white mugs with a white tea cup. "You've got to be one of the few people who don't drink coffee."

"I like my sleep. Coffee isn't exactly conducive to a good cat nap." At that, he let out a smirk.

After placing the kettle on the stove and turning the blue flame on, he made his way over to where she sat. She was looking in his direction on his couch, cross legged, the cushion wrapping itself around her bottom and hips. Taking the seat next to hers, his eyes briefly grazed the round brown table in front of the reddish couch and widened at the open magazine laying on the table. The woman followed his gaze and snorted.

"Wow," she picked it up, now staring at the naked woman on the pages. "These magazines are e_verywhere_ aren't they Kisuke?" She unfolded the flap that covered the bosom of the dark woman in the magazine and teased, "well," smirking, she continued, "at least you have good taste."

Kisuke raised his eyebrows at her, his eyes with a hint of caution.

"So... you like what you see...?" He tested. His mind pulling and analyzing memories of her tender interactions with Soi Fon.

"What?" She retorted, noticing the look his eyes wore. "Oh, no, no, no. Haha, _no_. That's not what I meant." She threw her head back, slightly exasperated. "Can't a woman appreciate another woman without labels being assumed?"

A flicker of a smile hit the man's lips.

"So you're not..."

"No," she sung, "not in the least." Closing the magazine and gently placing it back on the table, her gold tinted eyes were back on the man in front of her. Like a feline ready to pounce.

"I take it," she glanced at the magazine, "supported by your seemingly favorite pastime," she added tossing a grin his way, "'The, what did you call yourself?" She sneered feigning recollection. Slightly tilting her head she continued, "The _Adonis_ does not have a woman in his life?" Kisuke smirked.

"Interested?" He asked boldy as his face adorned a toothy grin, his body leaning closer to hers in proposition. The woman chuckled. Recrossing her legs, eyes still on him, she arched her eyebrow and responded leaning towards him.

"Don't get cocky," ending the phrase with a sideways smile. Leaning back, surveying the room, she rested her palms on the sofa, a position which accenting the contours of her buxom chest.

"These," she she paused picking up an erotic magazine, "give you away."

"Ahh, well." His hand reached for the back of his head. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"Spoken like a true bachelor." The two exchanged smiles, the laughter soon interrupted by the whistling of the kettle.

.

"Damn that woman." He tossed on his bed, mind finding it's way back to the present. Rolling over to his right, his clock told him it was time for bed, his body concurred. A smile dressed his face. The store would be closed tomorrow, as it was a Sunday. Exhaling deeply and with an _"oompf"_ noise, he lifted himself off the bed. The blonde scruffy haired man turned off the lights in the room, returned to his bed and prepared himself to welcome whatever the sandman had in store for him.

.

"Tessai, my man Tessai. This _girl? _No no, this _woman_. Woowee!" The man wearing a loose dark green house rob and bed head hair whistled. He plopped himself on the familiar couch resting his legs on the messy table in front of it.

The man called Tessai, seated on a wooden chair, shifted his weight making the chair creek under his intense muscly build.

"Kisuke." The chair creaked again as the man's body leaned in the direction of his friend. "What issue is she in?"

The blonde's eyes, formerly filled with glazed wonder, were now squinted in confusion.

"What?" He said turning his scruffy dome towards the big man.

"What issue?" The cornrow haired man rolled his eyes, a sight that could not be seen past his thickly rimmed glasses. "Which magazine? Show me her quick, we gotta get to work." Reaching his hand out towards his friend, patiently waiting for a magazine to be placed on it.

Kisuke furrowed his eyebrows, got up and in one quick movement smacked the man's hand to the side.

"She's _real, _my husky friend! REAL." Flinging himself back on the couch, the carefree man grinned. "Flesh, bones," his airy voice trailed off, "_ass_, _titties_."

Tessai scoffed, his back now supported by the stool.

"Real?"

"Yeah." He responded raising and dropping his dropping his eyebrows, his grin growing as he glanced at his friend, "very real."

The black haired man cocked his eyebrow, suspicion inching onto his facial features.

"Kisuke Urahara, _you didn't._" Eyes squinted, he paused, waiting for the blonde to fill in the assumed blank.

"That, my dear friend," he grinned, moving his feet from the table to the couch, laying down, rob flapping open revealing his only undergarment - boxers. "That is a story for another time."

Tessai stood up. He knew the drill. Whenever Kisuke had something juicy to say, he made sure he had an audience. This man before him loved the tease of his own theatrics.

"What?" Kisuke shot up, disappointment in his voice. Tessai straightened himself, brushing invisible dust off his clothes. Going through the motions of someone who was about to leave. "You're leaving?"

The man nodded his head.

Studying his friend, the blonde smirked and layed back down, '_Good old Tessai._'

"No. Please. Stay." Knowing full well his pal was feigning an exit, Kisuke muttered effortlessly and without much emotion.

"If you're gonna waste my time with this guessing game nonsense then I'm just gonna have to-" Tessai took a reluctant step forward clearly unaware that the carefree blonde had outsmarted him.

"Fine fine." Kisuke sat up, patting his pal's knee encouraging him to sit back down. "Tell you what, you cook, I do inventory and tell you all about it?" He'd won. Not only did he get to relive the film in his memory, but he got to get a free, not to mention, tasty meal.

As Tessai crouched back down, his weight supported by the wooden chair he smiled triumphantly.

"Sounds good." A triumphant smile found itself creeping up beneath his exaggerated mutton-chop mustache. Crouching back down, baring his weight on the wooden chair he threw the scruffy blonde a grin, a bit of rose highlighting his cheeks.

"Tell me what she looks like."

Kisuke's eyes lite up. With a brush of his hand, he swooped the hair out of his face and began to draw from the etched figure in his head.

"Picture this," the theatrics began. "Her hair a deep shade of violet, runs all the way down to her perfectly tear dropped ass." His hands molded the air. "Her shape!" He threw his back against the sofa and exhaled.

"Her shape, man!" He exclaimed casting a sideways glance at his burly friend, as though he too could see the image being projected in his head.

"Let me guess, you 'love her.'" Said the man throwing a speculatory grin at Kisuke. Kisuke threw one back, pushing himself off the couch.

Surveying the room he sighed a lazy sigh, letting out a groan. Digging his hands into a near by box, retrieving a handful of books.

"Anyway," he continued books in hand, "her body looks better clothed than I've seen naked, in a while." He cast the seated man a look accompanied with a sheepish grin, "and I've seen my fair share of _those_."

Taking Kisuke's subtle 'time for business' cue, Tessai, still eyeing his friend wrapped the scrunched up apron on the couches arm around his waist.

"Coke bottles have nothing on that body."

"Really now?" Tessai questioned, slightly blushing at his next question. "Do her..." he paused, "_other parts_ meet your ridiculous requirements too?"

"Do they ever!" The blonde exclaimed, a lump of hair falling on the space between his eyes. "Like unpoppable balloons! Just _**ang**_!" The blonde bite into the air imitating a dog wrestling with his favorite bone. The room filled with the men's boisterous laughter.

Tessai shook his head, "When's the wedding?" The burly man chortled.

Pausing in silence for a moment, Kisuke dreamily added, "and come to think of it, her clothes. They're so... they **cup** _everything_." His mind replaying her catlike meander through his bookstacks.

"Why?" Added Tessai mindlessly, chopping away at vegetables.

Throwing him a dirty look, Kisuke retorted with, "Who-...what?! What kinda question is that?" Disbelief in his voice. _What kind of a man wondered about why a woman's clothing was tight? That was not the right question at all_. Urahara scoffed, attention returning to the books before him. "If I ws her clothes, I'd cling on her too," he finished, a perverse sneer dressing his face.

Filling up a pot with water and chopping up some ingredients, Tessai shrugged. He eyed the busy book keeper who was taking notes, being very deliberate with counting stock. Kisuke even in all his perversions_, to say the least_, was one of the smarted guys he knew. Somehow able to double as nonchalant, easily mistaken for laziness, but also incredibly observant, often perplexing strangers. But one thing was gnawing in the back of Tessai's mind.

In the time he had known Kisuke, it was always affirmed that not only was the man a walking Casanova, but a quintessential Don Juan. Don Juan's _loved_ women. During the conversation about this new mystery woman, Urahara had not _once_ mentioned the word _love, _or mentioned any obscene rash commitment he wished to make to this woman_. _ And as strange as it was, this was abnormal behavior for the blonde panty dropping Lothario.

"Hey book keep!" The mutton chop chef snickered, "did you plant one on her?" Kisuke stared blankly at the man standing in his kitchen, clearly his mind not entirely present to the moment.

"Did you kiss her?" Tessai pushed, a sheepish grin creeping on his face.

Kisuke Urahara's eyes gleemed, giving nothing away.

"You wuss!" Exclaimed Tessai, his grin growing.

The book keeper stood up, a glint in his unrevealing eyes, sharing the sheepish grin.

"You did; you _dog_!"

Urahara sauntered away from the books, and began walking towards the kitchen, where his friend stood.

"You wanna know if I _kissed_ her? You wanna know if I _planted_ one on her? You wanna know if I-"

"Heeere we go..." Sighed Tessai an exasperated shrug accompanying the exhale.

"-_Skimmed_ her lips with mine. You wanna know if I made her _shudder_ with my lips _grazing_ hers? You wanna know-"

"Oh good grief..."

"-If we shared a little _pecky peck peck_? _Hmm~_, Tessai? _Yeah~_? You wanna know the low down dirty-" By this time Tessai had turned his attention away from the eccentric tease and focused on cleaning the dishes in the sink. Hoping the gushing of water would drown out his delirious comrade. A lathered rug in one hand and coffee mug in the other.

"You have the mind of a five year old," The man mumbled, pushing away his previous thoughts of praise for his astute friend.

.

The day came and went. After lunch with Tessai, Kisuke completed his off day tasks around the bookstore and locked it up. Leaving with bespectacled man, they ran errands, had a dinner with some pals and The book keeper was now back in his store. Even with all of the day's activities, one thing was on his mind. _Why_ hadn't he kissed her? It was unlike him to not even make a sly attempt! At least with that, it was always fifty fifty. You either didn't get some, and play it off, or you got some and score.

Entering the book store's back room, and dropping the bags on the couch. He took his shoes of and headed up stairs to wash himself of the day's grime. Water from the shower head providing a steady gush steady stream draped his body, weighing his hair on his chiseled face.

"Next time," He muttered.

.

Next time happened to be three weeks. Not that anyone was counting. If they were, they'd say three weeks and four days, to be exact. Where _was_ she?

The front of the store was pristine and the door held open with a box, to let the day's breeze in. The two men were behind the counter one resting on a chair magazine in hand while the other was brooding by the wall.

"I feel used." The brooding man grimaced, his back digging deeper into the wall. Looking to the seated man, who was enraptured in a magazine. Kisuke nudged the bear of a man, wearing a sad puppy face eager for condolences.

"Karma," muttered Tessai turning his body towards his friend revealing the magazine he was reading, "It's all that bad Karma you built up with women."

Pouting at his friend's response, Kisuke eyes dropped and soon after lit up. "Oooh~!" He sang, gliding closer to his friend to get a better view of the page.

"I haven't seen this issue yet. Turn the page!" Upon turning the page, both men's heads tilted to the left, Tessai blushed a deep red. Urahara's hands, driven by instinct, lifted the magazine from his friend's hands and flipped it, causing both men's heads to straighten. The magazine flip caused a folded page flap to collapse, showcasing the full glory of the woman's nude body. One man brightly grinned, while the other's glasses fogged up.

_"Why am I not surprised?"_

That voice.

Kisuke's heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

"Hello ma'am," Tessai dropped the magazine, embarrassed to have been caught with such paraphenalia in front of a lady.

"Ma'am?" She snorted, her strong voice challenged adding, "_Yoruichi_, is fine."

"Yes, _she is_." Chimed Kisuke who, at hearing the familiar phrase, snapped back into the moment. He eyed her, and it seemed as though time itself stopped allowing him to take her entire presence in. From her ponytail constricted hair, to the classy red corsette complimenting her frame and the flesh hugging dark blue jeans accenting all the right muscles in her thighs and legs.

Yoruichi grinned at the memorable line. Grin increasing in width, she met his eyes.

Tessai shifted. He could feel the instantaneous sexual tension.

"I have to go." He muttered, not taking time to make up an excuse.

"OK Bye~." Sang Kisuke's lighthearted voice, flicking his wrist towards Tessai, eyes still dancing around the glorious creature in front of him.

"Ms. Yoruichi?" Another all too familiar voice. An average sized jaw cut black haired woman, with two clothed white long stranded braids walked into the book store.

Yoruichi's eyes warmed, as they broke contact from Kisuke's and met Soi Fon's.

Cock blocked.

Kisuke couldn't help but smile. The rustling near him indicated Tessai was packing up his things, preparing to leave. Urahara, flashed Soi Fon a smile, to which she gave back a disgusted sneer, as he gave them the classic book keeper line.

"I'll be with you in a minute."

Signaling to his friend to follow him into the back room.

"What do you need?" Questioned a perplexed Tessai, his back against the opposite side of the wall.

Kisuke was beaming, grinning from ear to ear.

"Did you _see_?" He raised his eyebrows repeatedly.

"You mean did I see you two eye fuc-" Before Tessai could utter the obscenity, Kisuke placed his index finger on the man's mouth and jokingly hushed him.

"Language big man," he teased.

Giving a heavy sigh, complimented with a chuckle, Tessai shook his head in amused disbelief.

"Yeah, she's a real alright."

"I _know_ right?" Kisuke peeked his head through the doorway, checking on his lady customers. From where he was standing, he spotted the buxom gazelle's violet hair drop down and toward a book stack, possibly reaching for a book on the bottom shelf. Her follower standing next to her, almost protective. Dipping his head back into the room. Urahara, patted hands on Tessai's massive chest and chuckled.

Exiting the room, Urahara walked his husky friend to the door, bid him farewell, and removed the box that held the door ajar. Assuming his position behind the desk, elbows on the counter an head cupped by his palms he, yet again, took in the view.

Her hair bobbing up and down, side to side with each step and turn her body made. Softening her expression when interacting with the wonder-struck Soi Fon. He chuckled. Kisuke hoped that's not what his face looked like when he spoke to dark skinned fiery goddess . Years of gallivanting with various women had trained him to keep his face in check. All those women, he smiled, pleasant memories finding their way back to him. _Perky, busty, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy..._

"Hey!" Two finger snaps confronted his zoned out face, still wearing a sheepish grin.

"Soi Fon, that's not very nice."

The girl scowled.

"I saw you." Urahara raised his eyebrows, surprised by the woman in front of him. "Do not think I didn't see you." Her voice was steady but growing in contempt. "And don't you _dare_ think about it."

"Soi Fon, my dear," he responded tilting his head, still cupped by his hands, to the right. "What ever do you mean?"

"Listen here you prick-"

"_Dirty_ mouth Soi Fon," he grinned teasing the already flustered customer.

"You so much as _breathe_ close to her... I'll make you regret it." She pushed her self away from the counter and looked at the approaching woman, not waiting for his reaction, or caring. Her demeanor quickly changed to a docile one.

"Ms. Yoruichi, I'll be leaving now," casting a sideways glance at Urahara who had perked up at the possibility of having one on one time with the buxom babe. Reading his intentions, Soi Fon quickly added, "would you care to join me for lunch? My treat!"

The woman's eyebrows perked up, "that sounds great! But be ready," passing her tongue on her lush honey lips, "you know my appetite." The younger woman shrugged, and wore a look Kisuke couldn't place. Yoruichi chucked a quick smile Urahara's way and with the 'ping' of the door, they left.

The man let out a sigh.

"How 'bout that," raising his elbows off the counter, the carefree blonde chuckled, "cock blocked _again_."

–

**A/N**: How was it...? I was intending to finish the story in this chapter but... I literally half of this drafted a LONG time ago, and wrote the other half recently. I wanted to get something out to you guys.. There's still a bit more to cover before it ends. I'm hoping the next chapter closes the story, but we will see! Again, my deepest and heartfelt apologies. Life got the BEST of me this time around.


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